mentorship Archives - Simply Quintessential

My last post generated a lot of questions. Folks wanted to know, which was more important: Connections or Skills. One person was kind enough to tell me that I had written two articles that were contradictory. See the articles here and here.

Thank you all for your comments, likes and even emails that questioned my reasoning. But I have some hard truths to reveal today. Before I get to that I will state one thing: I was not contradicting myself. I will explain why in a second.

Connections

If you really want to be rich in two shakes of a duck’s tail and you want to acquire your wealth legitimately without dubious schemes then you need connections. There is no two ways about this.

Everyone has two kinds of friends: Friends that will make you and those that will mar you. Connections are those friends that will make you, that will be your springboard to success.

Research the history of any successful person you know, you will notice something peculiar: They were lifted to success by being at the right place at the right time, with the right people backing them.

Many of you may know Yemi Alade. But the truth is that if Yemi did not go for the Peak talent competition and win, then her story would have been very different. But because she won, she was immediately signed on by Effyzzie Music Group. The producers in that group turned her from wannabe musician into a rising star in less than 3 years. There are many talented musicians in Nigeria today but very few would ever be as successful as Yemi Alade. Because they lack the connections she now has.

Skills

Everybody knows Bill Gates’ grass to grace story; how an Operating System and a big vision took him to instant billionaire status. But not everyone knows his backstory.

Bill Gates started his path to wealth and fame as a hacker. Yes a hacker. At the age of 13, he hacked into his school’s computer. Then he graduated into an opportunist. While reading a magazine, he discovered that a company had just developed a new computer. He called the company to tell them he had a computer language for the computer, meanwhile he didn’t. The company wanted the computer language and Bill got to work. Five years after writing the computer language (known as BASIC) IBM called Bill Gates to see if he had written an operating system for their PCs. He hadn’t but he said “yes”. He quickly found a software written by another person, bought it, and sold it to IBM retaining the copyright. That Operating System was MS-DOS and marked the beginning of Bill Gates path into creating operating systems. An interaction with Steve Jobs led to the visual operating system as we know it today.

What you will notice about Bill Gates’ story is this: He had the skills. Then he built a track record of accomplishment. This attracted industry influencers like IBM and Steve Jobs to him. They gave him jobs to do and while doing these jobs, he perfected the idea of how his operating system should look like and launched it, amassing millions in sales and becoming a billionaire before he was 39.

But first he had the skills.

If Bill Gates was a spoiled rich kid, who refused to develop programming skills then his story would have been completely different. If he didn’t create a track record of delivering top-notch software products, IBM and Steve Jobs would never have contacted him.

And if IBM and Steve Jobs did not contact him, it is safe to say that Bill Gates would not have risen to world’s richest man.

My Point.

Connections still remains a shortcut to success but Skills determines if you will be picked by the appropriate influencers and achievers. If you have all the connections in the world but have nothing to offer, you will be stuck in a rot. This reminds me of a highly intelligent man I know, who is highly connected. He knew politicians, he knew visionaries, he knew prominent businessmen. And because of his father, these people knew him.

But nobody ever remembered him when it was time to give contracts, or jobs. Why?

Because he had proven countless times that he was a lazy, self-centered, criminal-minded man. He found it difficult to stick to terms of contract, his greed often making him take more than his due share. He found it difficult to finish a job, his laziness often seizing him and making him take “easy-way-out” options.

Because of these reasons, all his connections laughed with him at the bar or on a golf course but never ever offered him a contract, a job or recommended him.

How to Ensure the Law of Connections work for you

1. First work on your mindset: Many people are angry with their friends or relatives when these friends or relatives do not recommend them for contracts and jobs. But that is wrong. First nobody owes you a thing in life. Secondly, look inside and ask yourself really serious questions. Is there something wrong with your personality that is making them not recommend you? Is there something wrong with your work ethics? Are you really hardworking? Are you really focused and dedicated? Also it might be wise to ask your friends about your shortcomings so that you can work on them.

2. Develop a skill: There must be something you are well-known for. I always advise people to develop a skill in something they are passionate about. Don’t go and start developing software programming skills just because you want to be as rich as Bill Gates meanwhile your interest is event planning. In the end, you will lose out. Because you might not be motivated to finish learning the skill.

Whatever skill you choose, make sure you develop yourself to be the best of the best. How can you do this? You can do this by…

3. Build a track record: As you build a track record, you strengthen your skill and discover loopholes that you can offer solutions to. Building a track record is very important. Because it will attract influencers and achievers to you. It will make you more confident of your skills and it will help you become the best of the best.

4. Build your connections: Very important if you want to jump to success. But it is not easy or a simple walk in the park. It takes a conscious effort to build connections but it pays off. Because in the end, if two people of the smart intellectual power and skills apply for a job or contract, then the deciding factor will be the one who has the most powerful connection.

So there you have it; build your skill, then build your connections. Not the other way around. Do you agree with this? Let’s know in the comments.

P.S: Sharing is loving people 😉

If you are more than 10 years old, you must have noticed something fishy about life. Ask the school girl who painfully watched the coveted spot of lead dancer she wanted so badly and worked so hard for go to the richest girl in class simply because the girl’s father was the chief sponsor of the school’s cultural festival. Ask the boy, who hates going to school because his bully who happens to be the Principal’s son, has never been punished regardless of how many times this bully had been reported. They will tell you one thing:

Life is Unfair.

And it only gets worse. Many graduates must have discovered that graduating with a first class or second class upper might get you an interview but it can never guarantee you will get the job. Many entrepreneurs must have discovered that having the best product in the market does not guarantee your product will be an instant hotsell and profit maker.

Far from it.

If you are missing the secret sauce, then your path to success will be long, tiring and filled with frustrations. What is the secret sauce?

It is your Connections.

Why Connections can Make you Successful Almost Overnight.

The old adage stills hold true, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. Like it or not, “who you know” determines how successful you will be. I remember when I wanted to do a book launch. Two weeks to the date, I didn’t have any candidates to make the keynote speech about my book. I went to one of my mentors and a dear friend, Mrs. Ezeani, telling her my predicament. The very next day, she called me to tell me that she had arranged a topnotch magistrate -who is currently chief judge- to do my book review and deliver a spectacular speech for me on my launch day.

Without my mentor, there is no way I would have known this top achiever. Without my mentor, there is no way I would have approached this trailblazer and convinced her to make space in her busy schedule for me. Because of my mentor, she inconvenienced herself that day by going to a family occasion early and cutting short the amount of time she was supposed to spend there, then sped to the other side of town, just to grace the book launch of a woman that she didn’t even know three weeks prior.

And my case is just an example of how 1 powerful connection can make your life and success, so much easier. Listed below are the reasons connections make you an instant success.

1. Their success will rub off on you:

Imagine going to a networking event and someone you have never seen before is introduced as Bill Gates’ protege. Won’t you immediately start seeing the person in a new light? Won’t you find yourself admiring, respecting and actually listening to this previously unknown person?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you are no different from 98% of humans.

This is because humans are wired to respect achievers because we all crave to be stellar achievers. Once you can connect yourself to an achiever, the respect rubs off on you. Subconsciously, people start to think “if an achiever can respect this person, who am I not to respect this person?” or “If an achiever knows and recommends this person, then this person must be worth knowing and respecting”

2. They will inspire and motivate you

Achievers are not driven by jealous rage. Can you imagine Warren Buffet being jealous of anybody? Or Aliko Dangote, one of the richest men in Africa, backstabbing another person?

No.

Why? Because they are accomplished. They have achieved a huge percentage of what they wanted to achieve in their lives. One peculiar thing I have noticed about achievers is that they lift people up. They try to inspire and motivate people. They reveal how they achieved their successes, where they made costly mistakes so that you can replicate their successes.

My sister Ify, got this right when she entered university. She immediately attached herself to achievers (older students who are brilliant, were on scholarship and had huge dreams) and they guided her rightly. She went on to secure a PTDF scholarship throughout her stay in Nigeria, then a commonwealth scholarship for postgraduate studies in Cambridge and within a month of graduating from Cambridge got a job in one of the most prestigious companies in the UK.

The reason her story is different from so many graduates out there is because she aligned herself with achievers.

3. They will introduce you to other industry leaders

Once you are a protege of an achiever, you life will be miles better than a highly brilliant guy that has no achievers to back him up. Achievers take delight in introducing you to their network of friends. And guess what? An achiever’s network of friends is made up of fellow achievers. This is exemplified by my mentor knowing a trailblazer who is currently a chief judge.

4. They will root for you

Once you prove yourself to an achiever, once you show that you are a hardworking, dedicated, focused and loyal individual, then the sky will be your starting point. Because this achiever will recommend you to not just their friends, but their clients and customers. LightWedge CEO experienced this firsthand. Before his product, a book light, appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, this book light was averaging $3,700 a day. The day it appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, all Oprah said was, “I need to get me one of these.” and sales skyrocketed to $90,000 that afternoon.

Once an achiever recommends you or your product, you are on a fast-track to success.

5. Their advice can save you from losses worth millions

One common thing about achievers is that a lot of them had to make a lot of costly mistakes during their lifetime. Some of these mistakes cost them dearly in cash and relationships. So when you pitch an idea to an achiever, they will immediately advise you based on the experiences they have had, not on some theoretical assumptions many false gurus base their supposed “foolproof” strategies on.

I am a typical example of this case. Previously, in my first three failed blogs, I did something many rookie entrepreneurs do. I looked for an easy, shortcut to success. I met a lot of genuine influencers and achievers but the advice they gave me, I did not like. This is because the advice involved a lot of sweat, consistency and a minimum of 6 months to get to success. I wanted success in 3 days. So I instead chose to adhere to the advice of fake gurus, who promised that if you just implemented their tips and tricks, you will be on your way to insta-success in as little as a week.

Fast-forward 3 years, a lot of money down the drain, a lot of wasted effort and many frustrations, and now I am obeying the genuine influencers and achievers. And so far I have achieved a whole lot more than the nothing I achieved with the fake gurus.

6. They make it easier for clients and customers to build a relationship with you.

I have never met Bill Gates but I already trust him. Achievers are trusted. It’s the unfair principle of life. When an achiever recommends something to his clients or customers, the trust factor is instant.

Recently, one of my neighbours, Chike, got a posh job. The job was a managerial position in a pharmaceutical firm with the benefits of a car and a three-bedroom apartment in a choice neighbourhood. Here is the real gist: He NEVER applied for the job. In fact he didn’t even know the job existed until he was called to accept or reject the offer.

No Interview. No Aptitude tests. Nothing.

So how did he get the job? An individual known as a topnotch performer was previously offered the job. But this topnotch performer had so much work choking him, that he couldn’t accept the offer. Instead he made a recommendation. Chike was hired without even an interview to judge his skills but simply based on word-of-mouth referral. This simply points out that this topnotch performer has achieved so much that if he can be impressed by and recommend somebody, that person must be of his calibre. And the funny thing? Chike is not even related to this topnotch performer by blood or family ties. This recommendation was made purely out of a singular past business interaction.

How You can make connections with Achievers

1. Attend networking events. Though they are pricey, they are really important and is a suitable ground to mingle and meet achievers in similar industries. I greatly recommend attending an event at least once a year.

2. Help people: Do not scrimp from helping people no matter who they are, or what they do. Do not monetize everything you do. Sometimes extend favors to people, clients, customers because in the long term these favors can snowball into a leverage/recommendation for you.

3. Always deliver your best: Where I come from there is an adage, “the legs that walk about, is monitored closely by the eyes that look about”

Meaning that everything you do is watched by someone you do not know. When you over-deliver or supersede expectations, people are watching. When its time to make recommendations, your name will be the first to spring out of their lips.

4. Become a protege: No mentor will watch as their protege sinks and do nothing about it. Because a protege’s failure becomes their own failure. Which is why, in the political arena, unknown politicians attach themselves with accomplished godfathers in order to increase their chances of clinching a political position. Bringing this argument homeward, it is very safe to argue that without Tinubu’s influence and participation, Gen. Buhari will not have won the presidential seat.

5. Always seek an opportunity to help an achiever: Economics lets us know that human needs are insatiable. Contrary to popular belief, achievers do not have it all. There is always a favour you can extend to them. Many achievers will not hesitate to return a favor if you ask.

So there you have it. Did I miss anything? Do you know other ways of attracting the attention of achievers? let’s know in the comments.

P.S: If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it and helping someone else with the information they need to become successful.

Tag: mentorship

Connections or Skills – which is more important?